How Lifting Weights Changed My Life, My Body and My Confidence.

Having landed on this post I can only assume you're curious about weightlifting and resistance training but may have some reservations on whether its right for you. Maybe you think you are not strong enough yet, that weightlifting will make you look manly ( Do I look manly?) or you lack the confidence to walk into a stereotypically male dominated area of the gym and be expected to know what you're doing. I'd like to take you on a journey, where you can decide for yourself if you'd like to be fit, strong, confident and in the best shape of your life you've possibly ever been physically, mentally and emotionally.

I guess I can take my story back to my teens as my starting point. Growing up and being a teenager is hard. A journey of self discovery, making our own footsteps in the sand and facing some of the harsh realities of life, with no experience of how to navigate any obstacles that arise. Feelings and thoughts about how we fit in to this diverse world we live in and how we compare to others around us. Bombarded with information and images of what success looks like and how we should look and behave so that we too can feel accepted and worthy. Trying to create our own unique identity whilst remaining conventional enough, so that we don't stand out to far from the 'norm'.

Through this we learn to find out who we are and what our passions are. Accepting and being proud of our unique qualities and flaws, knowing that there are some things we can not change and also having the drive and motivation to build on the things we want to and can change, in a positive and healthy manner, I believe is paramount to our sense of self worth and overall happiness. Identitying who we are and having the confidence to unapologetically lead the life we want to, as long as its not hurting our selves or others is a freedom we all deserve.

I started my young life with very little confidence, I was shy, anxious, quiet and forever putting myself down. I kind of knew who I wanted to be but in my eyes I was so far away from where I needed to be to stand any chance of making my mark in the world. I felt a little average! Average looking, average intelligence and thought others saw me as kind and nice albeit a little dull and boring. There's nothing wrong with kind and nice but I wanted to excel in something, I wanted to be someone who was admired. I wanted to be funny, strong, influencial, have an amazing body and succeed academically. Ironically I had the potential to have and be all these things and more, I just needed the confidence and self belief to unleash my hidden depths.

Gradually over the years, with gaining more life experience and working hard to build my self esteem and overcome my social anxiety, I naturally eradicated a lot of my self doubt and allowed myself to show the person I was, quietly confident in my capabilities. I realised I could be funny, it's not my fault if other people fail to see my humour ha! I was strong, inside and out and I succeeded enough academically. I made the best of my appearance and to be fair most of the time I don't think I scrub up too bad. Next challenge - the body!

By this time, I'm what you may call a bit of a perfectionist! I'd started at the gym, thinking if I lose a bit of weight through cardio exercise and various faddy diets, sold to me via the media, I could look like the images I saw on the front of magazines, now the ones you see all over social media. I mostly ran on a treadmill or a cross trainer and did a few of the resistance machines mostly thinking it would tighten my inner thighs and get rid of my 'muffin top'. I was never a big girl but naively I thought that losing weight was the only way to adapt my shape to get it to be what I wanted it to be. Why would I think any different though when society advocates this way of thinking?

A few years down the line, I was just a slimmer version of the same body shape, I thought I was just chasing something that wasn't feasible but everywhere I looked it was being sold to me that losing weight was the way to a super toned body with the help of a few resistance exercises to tighten it all up. It just wasn't working for me and I didn't even enjoy cardio workouts, I thought maybe this was the best I was destined to have. To a lot of people the body I had would have been enough and so it should be but I still hungered for more. I wasn't going to give up there, I just needed to try something different.

I approached one of the personal trainers that I knew in the gym and got him to set me a few programmes I could do for a few weeks at a time. Mainly a mix of cardio and resitance work with cables. I progressed onto a few personal training sessions where he introduced me to free weights. I'd always had a predilection for strength related activities, I'd taken great pride in beating many a man in an arm wrestle and carrying my dad at double my bodyweight on my back, any way I could prove my strength gave me great pride and a sense of power and control but I'd never considered it as a way of training until now.

Encouraged by my personal trainer and armed with a one year challenge programme I'd purchased online called 'Thinner, Leaner, Stronger by Michael Matthews, I gradually built up the nerve to enter what I called 'The Big Boys Section' of the gym.

I remember the nerves I felt going in there for the first time on my own, pacing around by the water fountain, eyeing up the piece of equipment I was going to make a beeline for. Wondering if I should take the plunge or just leave it for another day. The words of my trainer ringing in my head ' you've as much right to be in there as anyone else and you're more than capable'. I went in! I felt like that for a while, everytime I went until eventually it was the most natural place to be in the world. It felt like home.

The programme was made up of either a three or five day plan. I started on the three day and quickly moved to the five day. I'd found my passion. I loved the new challenges and the sense of power it gave me. There was a lot to learn about how to work the right muscle groups and preventing injuries by lifting correctly. I supplemented my individual training sessions with the odd personal training session to understand new lifts and make sure my technique was correct. The training programme was broken down into 8 week intervals, so it gave some time to progress with lifts whilst maintaining some variety but it followed a fairly standard split of:

-Back

-Shoulders

-Chest

-Arms

-Legs

The programme worked on the theory of progressive overload, meaning that once I could hit 10 reps at the weight stage I was at, I would add a small amount of weight for the next session until that level was achievable again and so forth, gradually getting stronger particularly in the main compound lifts like Barbell deadlifts, squats, bench press and shoulder press.

I followed a full bodybuilding programme including the nutrition side of it, counting macros (Protein, fats and Carbohydrates) and sticking to a calorie goal sufficient for my needs. The word bodybuilding may conjure up ideas of large muscley men but I can assure you that the average female will not have enough testosterone to become bulky or look like a man. What you will achieve if you work hard enough is a well defined feminine body. Building your body the way you want it.

After only 3 months of bodybuilding, I noticed amazing changes in the way my body looked. People started to comment. I remember the first lady that approached me and said ' what have you been doing, your body looks a completely different shape, you look incredible'. I can't even begin to tell you how that made me feel. I was confident, happy, motivated and inspired by my own success. I was lifting weight I'd never have dreamt I'd be able to lift and I was getting the results I'd always wanted, all whilst doing what I loved. I felt strong and powerful and this carried through into my life outside the gym. Such an amazing feeling.

As my journey through the one year challenge continued, I noticed for the first time in my life I was turning heads and motivating and inspiring other women.

I don't want you to think that by achieving a body you're proud of its going to fix all your problems or that it's some kind of route to perfect happiness. If you feel confident, healthy and happy with your body regardless of how it looks then that's an amazing way to be. This is about focusing on how you feel and not trying to aspire to an ideal shape created by society or the media. For me personaly its given me not only the mindset to feel good and confident about my body almost everyday, it's also allowed me to challenge myself and come out of my comfort zone. The strength and enjoyment I've gained on this journey has pushed me on to try new things and see just what my body and mind is capable of. I've increased my own self worth, my confidence and self assurance. I love who I've become and I really don't care too much if I don't fit the norm. I'm internally happy, positive, strong and resilient and I achieved more than I ever thought I could. I've excelled in something I chose to do and I changed my life and my outlook in the process. And the best thing is it all belongs to me, my body, my life, my passion. This is my own unique journey and one I'll always be proud of .

So what are you waiting for....